FUNNY LAWS 
.In Texas , it is legal to commit a homicide as long as you tell the person when and hw u r goin to kill them.
.In New York , the penalty for jumping off a building is death.
.In Paulding ,Ohio, a policemenan may bite a dog to quieten him.
It was the day of garaduation and the professor was giving last minute tips to his law students. "if the law is on your side bang that into the judge", ha said . "On the other hand , if the facts are on ur side bang that into the jury", he advised. The last bencher ,was however , not satisfied with his advice , "what sir", he said , should one do if neither fact nor law is on my side ?" The proffessor retorted ,"In that case , the safest thing wud be ---to just bang the table."
A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. "That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient. "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life." 
A physician, an engineer and a lawyer were arguing about whose profession was the oldest. The surgeon announced, "Remember how God removed a rib from Adam to create Eve? Obviously, medicine is the oldest profession."
The engineer replied, "But before that, God created the heavens and the earth from chaos, in less than a week. You have to admit that was a remarkable feat of engineering, and that makes engineering an older profession than medicine."
The lawyer smirked, and said, "Who do you think created the chaos?"
you know you are a lawyer wen ....
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